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Tuesday, July 15, 2008

If it doesn't kill me, it makes me stronger.


I've been put through a couple of test nowadays. What are the test? Well, it's a little bit too complicated to tell and I like to keep to myself. It was hard. Really. It test me physically and mentally. Tested my heart and soul. Tested my strength and courage. Tested my faith and belief.

I have to admit, I fall, but I didn't fail. No I did not. I just fall. But I got back up. Just like any the chemistry test, sometimes when you cant find the equation, you just feel like ripping off the paper and walk out. But then, you just keep reading the questions, squeeze your brain and hell yeah, equation solved. I felt that way. I almost give up. I cried a lot. I got sick. I was tired. It hurts so much that I wished I was dead.

But here I am.
Still very much alive. Still living my life. I went through the obstacle. I faced the problem. I still cry, but after that, I take a deep breath and smile. Keep on moving. Keep on smiling. Keep on living.

Today,
my history teacher, Puan Anita told me something very meaningful.
She said "God give everyone a test. But the difficulty of the test depends on the individual." It means that yes, everyone gets their own test. But God will give the hard test to his servants who He know can handle them. Who He know is strong.

So,
things are so hard for me now. I received many difficult test. It shows I am strong. I am not as weak as I think. God knows how strong I am. That is why my test are always so hard. I am not a failure. I dare say that I pass those test with flying colours.

Whatever happens, happens.
I chose my road. So if there is any hole, any obstacles, I'm not turning back. I will face it no matter how much it will hurt me. There is no other way when it comes to the truth. This road may lead into darkness, but it will emerge into light. Blood, sweat, tears. I don't care. If it is meant to be then fine. I will live with it. I will fall, but I wont stay there. I will got back up on my feet and stand tall. I am Lily Cartina. I am Fucking Awesome. I swear I am. God knows I am.




My Soul and Spirit will go on for all Eternity - Dragonforce


1 screams:

dinieezyane said...

There aren’t any worlds without pain...
=)