Friday, November 21, 2008

Why adolescence have identity crisis.

Because we are told to do things. We are exposed to the so called right things and forbidden to get near the so called wrong things. Our view are restricted to the beauty of this big bad world. Thus, we are blinded from the ugly reality that is sometimes, right there in front of us. Why are we blinded? Because we've never seen ugly. So we don't know what the hell ugly is.

When we go to school, teachers told us that A is for apple, B is for ball, C is for cat. But A can stand for Ass, B can stand for Bastard, C can be Catastrophe. Then again, we are too young. So we are somehow not allowed to think for ourselves and have to do,follow and obey what we were told to. We were told to be friends with nice people, to be careful in everything we do so we wont get hurt. *chuckles* If we have never fall throughout our whole life, how are we going to know what "hurt" is? We never will. Because we are told not to fall. Not to get hurt. SO "Hurt" is simply a word to us. But if we were ask to describe hurt, I bet my life that we will remain silent or beg for a different question. *laugh out loud* We wont know, because we never experience. Why? Because we are not allowed to.

Judgment.Critics.Comments.Compliments. All sums up to one thing in common. Talk. Cheap talk. How cheap? Hooker cheap. Yeah. Yet, that is what we worry most. People talking. To hear people talking about us is like a venom rushing through our veins. To hear great compliments make us work like shit and bad ones make us feel like shit. We care too much about what people think and talk about until we are forced to be something else just to stop all the talking. Why wear pink when you don't like pink? because everyone else do. Why read this book when you don't want to? because people say it's good. Why do it when you don't want to? because people say it's the right think to do. The aftermath of "people say it's the thing to do" are ending up being a total stranger to themselves. A product. A display. A smiling manikin with nice clothes and adored by everyone yet so hollow, so heartless, so empty inside.

Remember when you were younger, and you wanted to go out to the mall, or a concert, or on a date, well, basically you just wanna go out, but your parents didn't give you the permission for reasons such as "you have to study" or "i don't like that friend of yours", you went all mad, slammed your bedroom door and turn up the volume of your stereo full blast until your ears started to bleed? remember? *smirk* of course you do. That is another thing. Most of us are not allowed to go out. Not without the company of someone older. Not without a so called bodyguard. Every single step being carefully observed. Fear conquer the soul inside. Afraid to screw up. Afraid to do the wrong thing. *laughs* Locked inside the house, that's bad. Locked inside a bar less prison, that's bad ass. Not able to do things we really want to. Shame. The best degree come from the streets. You can find hundreds of things if you walk a hundreds meters. Imagine what you'll find if you walk a mile. Thousands, even millions of things, and one of them might be "us". Yes, "we" might be there on the streets. Just patiently waiting to be found. If wont be if we don't walk on the streets. *smile*

I save the best for last. The killer phase. The phase that cause the major disaster on finding our true self. You are suppose to be (insert verb here). Hell yeah. i.e You are suppose to be wearing white, not black! You are suppose to be studying medicine, not music. You are suppose to be reading, not singing.We are pointed, we are dragged, we are pushed, we are pulled, to do something be something that we are suppose to be. Not what we want to be. *laugh* Got what I mean?

Do the right thing. That's what I've been told. What is the right thing? How do I know if it's the right thing? Is it possible that the right thing for me is the wrong thing for you? *grins* School's out. I'm going out. Finally.

2 screams:

budaksesat said...

wow...interesting point of view. But, as right as you are, i still do think that a little bit of concern about others' opinion is necessary. Fact is,we live in a community, and,let's face it, people are GONNA watch what we're doing, rite? That's what we all do, jaga tepi kain orang. Nevertheless, we might as well just take the good advice from them and keep improving ourselves. I know sometimes we have to learn things the hard way Lily, but then again, it sure does feel nice that someone actually care for us,don't you think? That's what I think personally, don't take it seriously if you disagree.:)

Lily Cartina,17 said...

Hey there.
Thanks for the comment. I really appreciate it. Before i start with my reply, please be concern that this is just me sharing my opinion. no intention to start a fight or something. *smile*

Yes, I am aware that we live in a community where people talk. Can't blame them. Give us mouth. It's human nature to talk. *chuckles* But sometimes people talk crap. that's is the problem. and that crap is what we care the most. *laughs* What I'm trying to say is, yeah people talk, but why bother? But, look who's talking. If that person talking is someone who doesn't even know when your birthday is, then why bother? screw them. Then, is that person talking is a person who are dear to you, who really care about you and know what is best for you, then take note.

It is nice to have someone to care for you. I'm not saying it's not. I never say it's not. Having someone to care for is like the best thing in the world. I swear to God that I will give up everything just to have that person. But I want someone to care for who I am, not for who I am not or for who I am suppose to be. *smile*