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Friday, January 16, 2009

I am not mad, I just miss you.

Friend : I missed you
Lily : yeah, sure
Friend : why don't you think so?
Lily : I don't know




Actually I do. I do think that you missed me. It's just that, people come and go in my life, and it never stops. They come and stay whenever they like,then they leave whenever they like,and that sucks. That raise one question.

What the hell do they think I am?
a counselor?

For heaven's sake I am their friend.

Not their friend when their life is shitty. Not their friend only when their lover left.I am a friend

and I too need them as much as they need me.

Lots of people came to me, left, and come back claiming that they missed me.Yeah sure, I appreciate that. I appreciate that they missed me. I appreciate that they come back. But do they know that I've been through hell when they left??

That I was in the dark on my own.
That I was lonely all alone.
And now that I am getting use to the loneliness, they came back, saying that they miss me.

Only God knows how much I use to miss them when they ignored me.

True I am tough,
but not tough to the core.
True I am fine doing things on my own
but a fine company is better than doing things alone.

Another thing is,people come to me only when they are bored. They are bored so they come to me, then, when they had another thing to occupy themselves with, guess what they'll do. Yeah. Leave. Just like that. Leave. After that, when they got bored again, they'll come back, again.

Once again,
What the hell do they think I am?
A video game?

Why cant they come to me when they actually care??
Why can't they come to me when they actually want to know how am I doing??
Furthermore,
why cant they come to me when they actually miss me??

Why come to me when only when you are hurt?
Where were you when you were fine?
Why come to me only when you are bored?
Where were you when you were having fun?

You can come to me.
For you are always welcome.
For my door is always open for you.
For those seats are saved for you.
But,
Why do you have to leave?
Why can't you just stay?

My apologies.
You may think I was not sincere when I offered you my company, my stories, my tears, my laughter, my joy, my pain.
In the name of God I expected nothing in return.
For you are my friend, and friends mean the world to me.
Because friends mean the world to me is the reason I want you to stay.
Stay and be my friend.
Stay and let me be your friend.
Stay and be friends.

Once again, my apologies.
I may be asking for too much.
I may be too selfish.

*sobs*

I run to you to share my joy.
not only to wipe my tears,
I turn to you to share my toy.
not only to conquer my fears.

8 screams:

C.E.@ said...

I know this feeling...it cuts you open and no one even seem to realise that you're bleeding.

*tepuk bahu

i'll stay... ;)

Lily Cartina said...

to amin: please do. *smile*

rOhock said...

aiiii

Lily Cartina said...

to r0hock : hello!

Shadjihar said...

oh hell,you tell em.
you're not alone,Lily.it happens to me all the time.sometimes you'll get used to it although it freaking hurt.

Lily Cartina said...

yeah,
pain is no longer a stranger.
and pain sure is very fond of me.
cuz it keeps coming back, and stay for long.

heh

Suffian salim said...

Huh...

Lily Cartina said...

to suffian : huh back. lol. kidding. hello. *shake hands*